Junk I Hate

Asshole-People

Thu, 02 Sep 2010 01:20:40 -0400

I hate when people get rid of their dogs when they start having babies. (I want to take these asshole-people out back and fuck them up.)

I hate that her hair salon does not provide free bang trims...

Thu, 26 Aug 2010 14:03:00 -0400

I hate that her hair salon does not provide free bang trims between cuts.

Voicemail

Tue, 24 Aug 2010 18:54:17 -0400

I hate that people call when they could’ve just as easily sent an email.

Dead Legs

Thu, 19 Aug 2010 12:08:20 -0400

I hate when people in wheelchairs have their legs crossed.

The Whole Truth (And Nothing But [The Truth])

Wed, 18 Aug 2010 18:23:00 -0400

I hate lip liner. I think the women who wear it look like whores. Or clowns. Or whore-clowns.

(Steve Sanders Couldn't Pull It Off, Either)

Tue, 17 Aug 2010 18:27:57 -0400

I hate (and have no respect for) the mock turtleneck.

I Hate Your Face, Whistler-Person

Mon, 16 Aug 2010 19:28:36 -0400

I hate when I can hear someone whistling. It’s like making wind chime sounds with your mouth and it’s fucking creepy.

Parking your junkerS (plural) outside your place of residence is...

Fri, 13 Aug 2010 16:12:00 -0400

Parking your junkerS (plural) outside your place of residence is a poor person’s right of passage.

Next To Poverty In the Dictionary: This Picture

Thu, 12 Aug 2010 15:52:00 -0400

Everything here screams impoverished:

Let’s review:

Futon- Not a good idea in college, certainly not a good idea now. Do you think the girl you picked up at Happy Endings is really going to bang you when she walks in and watches you turn your “couch” into a “bed.”

Vertical Blinds- Maybe if you spent less money on your ~~music~~ ornamental guitars and more money on decor, you wouldn’t have metal blinds that get twisted and bent with the slightest movement.

Carpet- Nothing says “below-the-poverty-line” quite like wall to wall [stained] carpeting.

Golf clubs- You only have these because golf is the Leisure Man’s® sport and you like playing make believe. We see the rest of your place. You aren’t fooling anyone with that 9 iron.

The vintage Coke bottles- We get it, Steve, you collect only the finer things in life. Vintage Americana glassware, cardboard boxes from things you’ve purchased, VHS tapes, computer monitors- they’re all there.

Things not visible in this picture: the wind chimes hanging on the other side of the vertical blinds, a view of the community pool.

Poverty Week [Day 3] (Beer Cozies)

Wed, 11 Aug 2010 13:03:53 -0400

Poverty Week [Day 3]

(Beer Cozies)

Poverty Week [Day 2]

Tue, 10 Aug 2010 13:59:21 -0400

Poverty Week [Day 2]

This is one of the mom’s mom on “Teen Mom.”...

Mon, 09 Aug 2010 11:51:13 -0400

This is one of the mom’s mom on “Teen Mom.” Look at this woman! It’s like she’s SCREAMING, “I’m poor” to the entire world. (AND she’s ruined the wet perm for all of us.)

Poverty Week (I'll Be Here All Week)

Mon, 09 Aug 2010 11:50:14 -0400

It’s “Poverty Week” on Junk I Hate (kind of like when they have family week on Wheel of Fortune—but different). Come celebrate ~~recognize~~ celebrate Poverty Week with me— I mean the blacks get an entire month, we might as well give these people a week.

1-800-Dentist

Fri, 06 Aug 2010 17:35:00 -0400

I hate when people look like they have dirty teeth… Like Nelly and that girl from Degrassi. [Pictured below]

(Err…makin’ skinny look good TO WHO?)

Thu, 05 Aug 2010 12:33:13 -0400

(Err…makin’ skinny look good TO WHO?)

I hate how dramatic this ad is. (I also hate that I can now be...

Wed, 04 Aug 2010 12:29:55 -0400

I hate how dramatic this ad is. (I also hate that I can now be likened to a bare stem.)

I hate that black people’s feet aren’t all black. I...

Tue, 03 Aug 2010 13:34:01 -0400

I hate that black people’s feet aren’t all black. I mean, I hate it for them [since it looks so weird]. It’d be one thing if it was just the soles of their feet that were that weird “nude” color, but it creeps up their feet (and sometimes their ankles [NOTE: I AM NEITHER A PODIATRIST, NOR A BLACK PERSON’S FOOT ENTHUSIAST]) and they can’t like it since it’s so uneven. (This must be where white people picked up the phrase, “dipped in chocolate.”)

"Hehe" THIS, Faggots

Mon, 02 Aug 2010 12:08:00 -0400

I hate when grown men use the words “hehe” in an email or an IM conversation. (It’s very “To Catch A Predator.”) I’d bet my bottom dollar that the same dudes who do this drive either Mini-Coopers or Volkswagon bugs.

Nothing Says "Working Class" Quite Like the Harmonica

Fri, 30 Jul 2010 12:46:42 -0400

I hate watching Roseanne re-runs because who wants to watch the struggles of poor people on purpose? (Even the theme song is working class.)

(Later that night, the bear [a bastard-bear] took that pony out...

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 15:00:00 -0400

(Later that night, the bear [a bastard-bear] took that pony out back and raped him senseless.)