Junk I Hate

#Twitter Has Ruined Everything

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 09:48:05 -0500

It’s really uncomfortable when bands (or solo artists) say things like, “I love my fans!” Or, “I love you all!” when (maybe) 23 people know they exist.

Truth

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 11:52:45 -0500

I hate dudes who play the ukulele. I’d bet my bottom dollar that those same dudes (you know—the ones who play the ukulele) also drive Volkswagen Bugs.

Quotes Intentional

Mon, 14 Nov 2011 10:22:10 -0500

I hate when gays refer to other gays as their “family.”

RAPE Central

Thu, 13 Oct 2011 09:11:41 -0400

I hate a downstairs bathroom in a restaurant.

Shut Your Whore Mouth, Linda Yu

Fri, 07 Oct 2011 23:21:53 -0400

I hate newscaster banter.

Shut the Fuck Up, Creep

Tue, 27 Sep 2011 19:54:39 -0400

I just heard someone [INTENTIONALLY] use the word ‘lover’ in a sentence. (It was really creepy.) I hate the word ‘lover’ and frankly, I can’t think of a single scenario wherein it would EVER be OK to use it.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall [Please Don't Break]

Thu, 22 Sep 2011 17:38:58 -0400

I hate her face. I also hate it when she cries. She just might be the ugliest-crying person on the television (and off the television).

I DON'T KNOW HER

Mon, 19 Sep 2011 15:11:32 -0400

I hate that everyone in my family is constantly referencing Ellen. It’s like just because I’m gay [YAWN] and she’s gay, they automatically assume we’re friends.

I hate that I want to motorboat the hell out of Hank Azaria.

Sun, 18 Sep 2011 22:58:35 -0400

I hate that I want to motorboat the hell out of Hank Azaria.

I Wear My Sunglasses At Night [No I Don't]

Tue, 28 Jun 2011 13:59:08 -0400

I hate when people wear [everyday] glasses (as in regular glasses for seeing, reading, driving, etc.) with dark-tinted lenses. I HATE THESE. They’re like indoor sunglasses, but not dark enough to be sunglasses. (And who wants to be the douche wearing sunglasses indoors? [We’re not all part of the Jersey Shore cast.])

No Pizza Place

Fri, 27 May 2011 17:17:12 -0400

Do ~~all~~ most black people have outie belly buttons? In yoga today, there were two black guys and a black girl (no pizza place) and all three had outie belly buttons. WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF ALL THREE HAVING THE SAME ~~EXACT~~ BELLY BUTTON? I’m not scientist, but I could probably hypothesize or whatever that “All Black People Have Outie Belly Buttons.”

Untitled

Thu, 26 May 2011 22:39:07 -0400

I’m not into adults who skateboard. (And for the record, I’ve never been into lady-skateboarders, either.) I imagine these same adults (who skateboard) are the same ones who still have roommates.

The Karaoke Scene in '500 Days of Summer' Was Alright, But Enough Is Enough [Is Enough]

Wed, 27 Apr 2011 11:15:56 -0400

I hate that Cotton® commercial with Zooey Deschanel. (I really wish she’d STOP singing.)

Does anyone know what (the) Mona Lisa has to do with AIDS?

Tue, 26 Apr 2011 21:27:07 -0400

Does anyone know what (the) Mona Lisa has to do with AIDS?

Goodbye, Kitty

Sat, 09 Apr 2011 14:27:00 -0400

People (read: ladies [a lot of whom are Asian]) who are still into Hello Kitty memorabilia as adults really creep me out. It’s like they’re wearing a sign that says, “HEY! I WAS MOLESTED!”

Is it weird that the thing I hate the most about this photo is...

Mon, 04 Apr 2011 17:00:17 -0400

Is it weird that the thing I hate the most about this photo is her stretch marks?

Don't Talk To Me

Sun, 03 Apr 2011 23:28:00 -0400

I hate when people write “KEWL” instead of cool. And what may be worse (if you can imagine such a thing) is when they try and pronounce it. [Pronounced: q-uh-öol]

In Other Creepy News...

Fri, 25 Mar 2011 22:09:35 -0400

I hate when people refer to their own mothers as MILF’s.

Why Do I Feel Like "BENNIFER" Started This Whole Word Pairing Thing?

Thu, 24 Mar 2011 17:17:53 -0400

I hate the word “jeggings.”

(No, That's Not Creepy At All)

Sun, 20 Mar 2011 13:25:36 -0400

I saw a girl in yoga this morning with ‘Daddy’s Girl™’ tattooed on her ankle. (Someone was obviously molested.)