I hate when I’m at a store and I ask a salesperson if they have something and they answer “I don’t carry that.” Or conversely, “I have plenty of that.”
[Let’s go to the videotape.]
Earlier today I was at Target. I asked an unassuming gentleman if they had any cable organizers and his reply was, “Oooohh… I don’t have any of those.” Um… YOU don’t have any? I don’t understand. Are YOU the proprietor of this establishment? Or do YOU just not have any cable organizers at your house? (Because that would be unfortunate.) Scratching my head [in disbelief], I then asked if “THEY” had the Jillian Michaels workout DVD and Mr. Red Shirt’s response was, “I have plenty of those in stock.” Why is this faggot using the possessive? It’s obvious (by his shoes and minor retardation) that he’s neither the Chairman of Target® nor the owner of this particular Target® branch.
It’s kind of like when you go to a restaurant and the waiter tells you the specials and says something along the lines of, “I have a beautiful seafood gumbo…” Er… No you don’t, pal. You’re the fucking server. YOU didn’t make the gumbo and YOU don’t own the gumbo. YOU’RE NOT BUBBA GUMP!
