Mexican For Stupid

I hate the 4-door Porsche. The “Panamera” or whatever the fuck it’s called. (What the hell does that even mean? Panamera. Is it Mexican for stupid?) It’s obviously an alternative for those mothers who cringe at the thought of schlepping their offspring around in a mini-van. Or those really [REALLY] fucking cool weekend dads [because going from zero to sixty in 5 seconds is a selling point for a FAMILY car].

This is THE CREEPIEST commercial I’ve ever seen. The best part of waking up… is getting to bang your brother.

It’s so weird when Asians are at the nail salon. I automatically assume they’re family or they’re just manicurists having their friends (err…family) do a little work on them. (It’s kind of like [it’s nothing like] when you walk into a Chinese restaurant and see other Asians eating there, you know it must be delicious.)

It’s so weird when Asians are at the nail salon. I automatically assume they’re family or they’re just manicurists having their friends (err…family) do a little work on them. (It’s kind of like [it’s nothing like] when you walk into a Chinese restaurant and see other Asians eating there, you know it must be delicious.)

(Out of ALL of her stories, she chose this one.)

Um.. Thanks, But I Can Get My Own Paper Towel

I’d hate to work in a bathroom.

Morning Becomes Mexican

Fuck you, KCRW. If I wanted to listen to Mexican-salsa music, I’d go to a Baja Fresh.

Speaking of the Brits…

I hate when Americans use the term “flat.” Um…it’s called an APARTMENT, douchebag—NOT a flat. AND you’re going on VACATION—not a fucking “holiday.” (Christmas is a holiday. Martin Luther King Day is a holiday. And Madonna wrote a song called Holiday.)

Cheers: It’s A Bar From the Television, People

I’ve said it before (and I’ll say it again [because it seems to be a fucking epidemic]): I hate when people who aren’t British end emails with the word, “Cheers.” And what’s even worse (If you can possibly imagine such a thing) is when they [they = these bastard people] add an exclamatory to the end of it like this: “Cheers!” (I want to take these people out back and fuck them up.)

(Santa Clause Is Coming To Town [And Hopefully, He’s Going To Beat You Senseless])

I hate the word “naughty.” (And the people who usually use it are pretty creepy.)

I’ve said it before (and I’ll say it again), I hate adults in ‘Looney Tunes’ clothing.

I’ve said it before (and I’ll say it again), I hate adults in ‘Looney Tunes’ clothing.

For Truckers Only

I hate a “walkie talkie” cell phone. (Why do these exist?)

What Year Is It (AND Why Do I Keep Smelling It?)

I hate the smell of Aussie Sprunch Spray™

Strong Enough For You (But Made For Her)

Men shouldn’t smell like baby powder. (That is all.)

There is nothing I hate more than a pull-down napkin. 

There is nothing I hate more than a pull-down napkin. 

No Thanks, Le Pain Quotidien

I’m not a fan of the “community” table. (In fact, I hate them.) If I wanted to sit with a bunch of strangers, I would’ve gone to my sister’s wedding.

3 of 29
Themed by: Hunson