Golden Girl

I don’t want to be an old lady. I’d rather be dead.

I hate that someone thought these kids were attractive enough to preserve their likeness [for all eternity] in a snow globe. (Especially that baby.)

I hate that someone thought these kids were attractive enough to preserve their likeness [for all eternity] in a snow globe. (Especially that baby.)

(Just Like Gay Sex-- It's So Unnatural)

I hate when black people have blonde hair.

Representative, please. REPRESENTATIVE, PLEASE! REP-RE-SENT-ATIVE! (Please?)

I hate waiting on hold for Delta (or any other airline slash customer service type thing) for 45 minutes only to speak with an Indian lady with no knowledge of the English language. I imagine there are [probably] a few people out there who don’t mind the waiting (they’re obviously not very busy like I am) and who might even welcome conversation with an Indian lady [with no knowledge of the English language]. I can only assume that these are the same people who get excited for jury duty.

Yeah, You Heard Me

I hate weddings. I’d rather go to a funeral.

I hate that this isn’t a good look for her.

I hate that this isn’t a good look for her.

(But J Lo, Scarlett Johansson & Amy Adams Keep Starring in Shit...)

I hate that Parker Posey doesn’t work more often.

Они Заслужите Оно

I hate that Russian men beat their wives.

SPRING BREAK!

SPRING BREAK!

I hate how old ladies think that by having a ‘festive” hair color that they’re automatically hip and edgy. Believe you me, there is nothing cool about an old person with a Manic Panic habit.

I hate that Sally abandoned her job as an interior decorator. All that talent… AND FOR WHAT, PEOPLE? Now, we all suffer.

I hate that Sally abandoned her job as an interior decorator. All that talent… AND FOR WHAT, PEOPLE? Now, we all suffer.

I hate when restaurants try to force single-ply napkins down my throat. What the fuck am I supposed to do with TWO single-ply fucking napkins? (Apparently times are tough at Judi’s Deli [I mean they moved from a real-live restaurant in Beverly Hills to an old Beverly-Hills-adjacent ATM vestibule.]) They might as well just set a roll of toilet paper out on the counter…

I hate when restaurants try to force single-ply napkins down my throat. What the fuck am I supposed to do with TWO single-ply fucking napkins? (Apparently times are tough at Judi’s Deli [I mean they moved from a real-live restaurant in Beverly Hills to an old Beverly-Hills-adjacent ATM vestibule.]) They might as well just set a roll of toilet paper out on the counter…

Steve Wiebe

I hate when people say “it’s on like Donkey Kong.” I’m not sure if people are unaware that the words “on” and “Donkey Kong” don’t rhyme. Or if they don’t care that they don’t rhyme. Or if I somehow missed the memo stating that they do, in fact, rhyme. Or if they think Donkey Kong is always on. (Or if anyone would miss them if they fell into a crevice never to be seen or heard from again.)

I hate how this makes me feel.

I hate how this makes me feel.

True Story

I hate it when people say, “Damn, Gina.” Excuse me, I mean, “Daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn, Gina.” 1. Um…Hi. What year is it? And 2. We’re not all black, you know. It’s like when faggots refer to themselves (and all the other faggots around them) as “Marys.” If I have to endure one more, “Heeeeeeey, Mary”, someone is going to get a kick to the nutsack. As far as I’m concerned, the only one allowed to say, “Heeeeeeey, Mary” is Jackée from 227.

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Themed by: Hunson