I hate how dramatic this ad is. (I also hate that I can now be likened to a bare stem.)

I hate how dramatic this ad is. (I also hate that I can now be likened to a bare stem.)

I hate that black people’s feet aren’t all black. I mean, I hate it for them [since it looks so weird]. It’d be one thing if it was just the soles of their feet that were that weird “nude” color, but it creeps up their feet (and sometimes their ankles [NOTE: I AM NEITHER A PODIATRIST, NOR A BLACK PERSON’S FOOT ENTHUSIAST]) and they can’t like it since it’s so uneven. (This must be where white people picked up the phrase, “dipped in chocolate.”)

I hate that black people’s feet aren’t all black. I mean, I hate it for them [since it looks so weird]. It’d be one thing if it was just the soles of their feet that were that weird “nude” color, but it creeps up their feet (and sometimes their ankles [NOTE: I AM NEITHER A PODIATRIST, NOR A BLACK PERSON’S FOOT ENTHUSIAST]) and they can’t like it since it’s so uneven. (This must be where white people picked up the phrase, “dipped in chocolate.”)

“Hehe” THIS, Faggots

I hate when grown men use the words “hehe” in an email or an IM conversation. (It’s very “To Catch A Predator.”) I’d bet my bottom dollar that the same dudes who do this drive either Mini-Coopers or Volkswagon bugs.
 


Nothing Says “Working Class” Quite Like the Harmonica

I hate watching Roseanne re-runs because who wants to watch the struggles of poor people on purpose? (Even the theme song is working class.)

(Later that night, the bear [a bastard-bear] took that pony out back and raped him senseless.)

(Later that night, the bear [a bastard-bear] took that pony out back and raped him senseless.)

(It Wasn’t Cool When Madonna Did It, Either)

I hate when American musicians move to the UK for a few months and come back speaking with a full-blown British accent.

Thank God I [Don’t Have AIDS]

I hate that people still say TGIF! It’s not 1982. The only real reason to [ever] weave the “TGIF” into conversation would be when referencing Magic Johnson, AIDS and his Friday’s.

(I hate that she’s faking. [Faker!])

(I hate that she’s faking. [Faker!])

To Protect & Serve

I hate that I look amazing in camouflage. (No, seriously, I do!) Whenever I wear it (which isn’t all too often [OR EVERY SINGLE DAY]), people stop and say, “You looking amazing in those camouflage shorts [read: camouflage onesie].” I should probably start rationing my camo-wearing.. it’s obviously just too distracting for all the passers-by and I’m a stickler for the “Golden Rule.” (Except when it comes to the blacks. I was mugged once by a black while vacationing in NYC. [Yes, I’m a cliche.])

(RAPE!)

I hate walking through the park at night. Especially, when it’s a big park, I’m drunk and have no wits about myself.

Mothballs & Febreze®

I hate the smell of most all most old people.

I Have A [Yummy] Knuckle Sandwich For You, Asshole-Person

I’ve said it before [and I’ll say it again]… I HATE when people use the word “yummy” to describe their feelings. (This is turning into an epidemic, people. AN EPIDEMIC.) I can only liken this to when your dog pukes and while you’re cleaning it up, you sort of start gagging because his puke is making you want to puke. (That, my friends, is how my body reacts to the use of this word.)

[Get] A Life Of One’s Own

I hate when women say, “Oh Goddess.” Um… Go put your crystal on, shave your head and get back to your women’s studies class.

I hate that she has rabies now.

I hate that she has rabies now.

I hate how beautiful this is.

I hate how beautiful this is.

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Themed by: Hunson