Junk I Hate: Archive

Mar 31st

Mar 30th

Watch

I hate her voice.

Mar 29th

Excellence Is Not A Skill (Really?)

Seriously… THANK GOD FOR PAULA ABDUL. (And thank God for an Abdul-less American Idol this season. (I mean, someone out there must be looking out for all of us, because now, our lady friend has much more free time to share her pearls of wisdom with the world.) [AHEM] @paulaabdul Excellence is not a skill. It’s an attitude. ...

Mar 26th

Straight Up

Now that I’ve quit therapy (thank you, economic calamity), I hate that the only words of wisdom I ever get come from Paula Abdul [via Twitter]. Yesterday, my shrink Paula Abdul Dr. Abdul posted this little gem: @PaulaAbdul You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.

Mar 25th

Mar 24th

I'm Sorry, Goldie Hawn

I HATE [caps for emphasis] that “they” are remaking Overboard WITH [caps for disgust] J. Lo. 1. They are bastard people. 2. Can’t they at least wait for Goldie Hawn to die before doing this? 3. There’s no such thing as a rich Mexican, so I’d like to know how is J. Lo going to portray Joanna Stayton. 4. Who will play the falsetto child? 5. Dollar foot long.

Mar 23rd

Mar 22nd

Seat 31F

I hate when people (ESPECIALLY those sitting next to me) cut their fingernails on airplanes. (Hey Asian man—you’re gross.)

Mar 21st

1 note

You Shut Your Whore Mouth

I hate that people still say TGIF! It’s not 1982.

Mar 19th

You're [Still] Not Any Blacker, Yo

I hate when white people use the term “yo” excessively.

Mar 16th

Life ISN'T A Picnic

I hate eating a hot meal with a plastic fork. (And frankly, I believe this is where the phrase, “Worst Case Scenario” originated.)

Mar 15th

Watch

I hate that he didn’t get to bang her at the end of this commercial.

Mar 12th

Mar 11th

Immigrants & Poor People

I hate when people give themselves sponge baths in airport bathrooms.

Mar 10th

Karyn With A "Y" [Probably] Went To Night School

I hate that I didn’t get a genius when I went to the Apple store to get my phone fixed. Everyone else’s name tag said, “Genius-Ryan.” Or “Genius-Suzanne.” I got “Karyn.” Yeah… just Karyn. (Karyn with a “Y” no less! [The NERVE of this woman!]) I wanted to ask her about her credentials, but didn’t want to make her feel any worse...

Mar 9th

Mar 8th

RSVP

I hate when people invite themselves to shit.

Mar 5th

(I Mean, Did EVERYONE Drop Out of High School?)

I hate when people spell “a lot” as one word. [AHEM] For example, “I really like Colonel Sanders’ chicken alot, but what I like even more, is his [sort-of] beard.”

Mar 4th

"Sleeps" Is A Verb

I hate how Canadians (when excited for something) say, “Only seventeen more sleeps until [Knott’s Berry Farm]!” Or “In six sleeps I get to see Mathieu again!” [Note: Um…cool spelling.] Frankly, I find this trend slash usage of the word, “sleeps” both offensive and creepy. If it weren’t for their delicious bacon [AND THOSE ROOTS STORES], I would...

Mar 3rd

(You Know Who You Are [And You're Gross])

I hate people who smell like broccoli.

Mar 3rd

No, I'm Sure He IS A Lovely Man...

I hate when people yell out “DADDY!” in the middle of night while they’re sleeping. (It definitely makes for an awkward morning.)

Mar 1st