January 2010
21 posts
True Story
I hate it when people say, “Damn, Gina.” Excuse me, I mean, “Daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn, Gina.” 1. Um…Hi. What year is it? And 2. We’re not all black, you know. It’s like when faggots refer to themselves (and all the other faggots around them) as “Marys.” If I have to endure one more, “Heeeeeeey, Mary”, someone is going to get a kick to the...
Finish the Thought, Alan
I hate when assistant-people call and say, “Hi, I have [INSERT NAME HERE] returning.” Err… Returning what exactly? My Cosby sweater? My Bell Biv DeVoe CD? (Do they know how stupid they sound?) It’s like when someone says, “I’ll see you later tonight, Steve.” And Steve’s friend, Alan (they are gays), says, “Looking forward.” Um…...
WatchI hate that she had to sell 427,000 boxes of Girl Scout cookies to “finish” the Girl Scout curriculum.
(It's ONLY OK When Lucille Bluth Does It)
I hate when people wink at me… It’s creepy and I feel like they know something I don’t.
Elevator
I hate when people charge into an opening elevator without giving the people inside the elevator a chance to get out of the elevator. [How many times can I say the word “elevator”?]
I Don't Like To Get My Hair Wet
As a general rule, I hate public pools. I’m pretty sure the one in West Hollywood is riddled with AIDS and the one in Boca [pronounced Boca] where my grandparents (and all the other fancy blue-hairs) live is riddled with old-people-disease, skin lesions (old people don’t heal as quickly) and their grandchildren’s urine.
Go To Hell
I hate “can-do” people.
I'm Going To Be Homeless Soon
I hate showing up for a doctor’s appointment at 11:10am [NOTE: My appointment was at 11:15am and I, being awesome, was 5 minutes early], only to have him actually see me at 12:25pm. [NOTE: My appointment was at 11:15am.] My hatred [for the doctor] was compounded by the fact that his office didn’t validate and it cost me $13.95 to park my vehicle. (This flame [of hatred] was further...
Get Some Fucking Hand Soap & A Fucking Dispenser
I hate that people think it’s OK to put a bar of soap in a public restroom. (It’s downright repulsive. We’re not all immigrants, you know.)
Donna Martin Graduates Alright...
I hate Tori Spelling’s face. (I might be watching “Mother May I Sleep With Danger.”)
(Am I Getting Too Personal?)
I hate that I don’t hate anything today. (Someone [AHEM—namely this moi] is having a good day.)
Dancing in the Dark
I hate that I didn’t get my prescription glasses in [under] an hour.
Take A Taxi. Take A Bus. Hire A Driver. Hitch. Or...
I hate most lady drivers, but I especially hate Asian lady drivers.
(Way To Start My Year Off With A Bang,...
I hate when I bite into something (not expecting raisins) and bite into raisins.