September 2009
37 posts
I'm So Drunk
I hate when people call celebrities by their [presumed slash assumed] nicknames. Um…No, it’s NOT “SANDY Bullock” because you’re NOT friends with her, fool. And “ANNIE” Hathaway is NOT OK, either. Yeah, I know you heard it on The Rachel Zoe Project (seriously—it was like a goddamned drinking game the amount of times Rachel, “Tay” and Brad...
(More) About Me
I hate that I fell off the Stairmaster today.
All About Me
I hate that every time I sneeze, I pee a little.
You Must Be A Dirty Old Man
I hate when people say “pussycat.” It’s cat, creep.
More From Our (Favorite) Facebook Couple
Ew.
Silencio Por Favor
I hate when ladies refer to themselves as mommy, mama or mami. (We’re not all Mexican.)
Inappropriate
I hate when people watch porn on airplanes.
I Love A Parade
I hate when people say, “I love me some [INSERT NOUN HERE].”
Today, I overheard a lady say, “I love me some Dave Matthews.”
1. This lady meant it. (She really loves her some Dave Matthews.)
2. This lady exists. (I saw her. [And she was devouring what appeared to be a tuna melt.])
3. (She was obviously not a deaf.)
4. What year is it?
5. Nothing.
Oprah Has Nothing On Me
I hate the sound of people breathing (mouth-breathers, nose whistlers and the like).
I know what you’re thinking… and you’re right—I’m a real humanitarian.
Make. It. Stop.
These are from that same (offensive) couple.
(I hate them and they should be banned from Facebook.)
[GAG]
I’ve decided to stick with the Facebook theme (because there’s just so much to hate). That said, I hate when ladies post stupid slash cutesy shit about their boyfriends [gag] and the boyfriends respond mere seconds later. It’s like they post a status update FOR their boyfriend AND for ALL the world to see when said boyfriend is sitting in the same room with them. Probably next to...
Settle Down
I hate when people abuse the exclamation point.
(Seriously. I fucking LOATHE these people and want to punch all of them in the face.)
I mean, why is THIS necessary?
THIS = “Laura Kordy is thinking about going out AGAIN tonite!!!!!!”
Gee, Laura… Er… you’re real excitable. (And a horrific speller. [Tonite is not a word.]) Good thing you used all those exclamation...
No One Cares
I hate this. This = Status updates such as this one:
[AHEM]
“Laura Kordy is thinking about going out AGAIN tonite!!!!!!”
Fucking riveting, Laura. Please tell me that story again.
I'm Sorry Your Mom Never Hugged You [But That's...
I hate when people say, “What about me?” Um…it’s NOT about you for a reason, fool. If I thought your hair looked as good as Susan’s I would have said so.
Listen Up
I hate that a deaf person can’t hear me say, “That’s what she signed.”
Berlitz
I hate how people end emails with the word “chow” when they really mean to use the word, “ciao”. Um…”chow” (spelled C-H-O-W) means food. So, what these moron-people are actually saying is:
[AHEM] An excerpt from an actual real-life email. (Probably.)
Thanks for putting out, Shirley. If I had known that the salad bar at the Sizzler and some salsa dancing...
Unsubscribe
I HATE HOW OLD PEOPLE WRITE EMAILS IN ALL CAPS.
Big Screen TV's, Carports, Cut-Off Shirts, Canned...
I hate poor people.
Shut Your Mouth, Yo
I hate when black people talk during movies.
Crunch: No Judgements
It’s safe to say I pretty much hate everyone at the gym. I overheard an anorexic girl saying whispering that she ate “half a pumpkin pancake” by herself in her car this morning. Um…shut it, Karen Carpenter. I had three Macho Tacos® and World Famous Crinkle Cut Fries® from Del Taco last night. At midnight.
Tyler Perry's Who the Hell is Tyler Perry?
Tyler Perry’s I Hate Tyler Perry
The Power of Pronouns: A Guide to Grammar...
I hate when people say, ”Father” as in, “I’m having breakfast with father tomorrow.” Or ”Hi! I’m on with mom, can I call you right back?” Were these people absent the day the possessive pronoun was taught?
You’re having breakfast with “Father” tomorrow? Um… really? How fascinating. You do know that HE’S NOT MY FATHER,...
I'm Going To Set Your Computer On Fire. (True...
I hATe wHEn [aDuLT] pEoPLe tyPe likE tHiS.
Fuck You Kathy
I hate when people abuse the letter “Z”. Some people (stupid people) insist on changing the word “because” to “cuz” and I ask… What did the word because EVER do to them? Then there are the people who take it a step further (as if that’s even possible) and replace the “S” at the end of a word with the poor (and now over-used slash abused)...
Yeah, You Heard Me
I hate that you sunk my battleship.