December 2009
31 posts
The Camera Adds 10 Pounds
I hate that actors in Los Angeles treat the closed-circuit camera at the Bank of America like a goddamned audition. Seriously. It’s like we’re one step away from a statement like THIS: “Yeah…you should’ve seen my work at the Miracle Mile branch last week. [STRETCH] I was magnificent!”
(The Best Way To Ruin A Song)
I hate songs with whistling interludes.
(The Best Way To Ruin A TV Show / Film)
I hate dream sequences.
Junk I Hate Gets Political
I hate when people adopt an animal from the shelter and then return it.
...Speaking of "Cocoon"
I hate how Steve Guttenberg has aged.
(Um...Have You SEEN "Cocoon"?)
I hate when old people are assholes.
WatchI hate that THIS is the first thing I love.
WatchI hate you, Chad from Mississippi.
(Did You Get Lucky, Sue?)
I hate that I have a friend who thinks that “date night” is chatting with the online help from “Time Warner’s 24-Hour Live Customer Help Center.”
I hate Hummers (people who drive Hummers, people who want to drive Hummers, [the bastard] people who make Hummers [and other Hummer enthusiasts] and then they went and did THIS:
(So now, I loathe Hummers.)
I hate the new Jeopardy set. (It kind of looks like a Nagel print. [AHEM])
There Should Be A 'Don't Ask, Don't Care' Policy
I hate when you run into an acquaintance [at a party, on the street or at the urologist’s office] and when you ask them how they are (because that is the polite thing to do), they respond with, “Ugh. [SIGH] Not good.” AND THEN they proceed to go into a goddamned monologue about their chlamydia scare, the “photos” on the internet and Joe, their cheating ex-fiancé.
LA is Hell (Part II)
I hate that parking meters in Los Angeles now charge on Sundays (um… it’s the effing holy day) because the city has to cover the cost of that Michael Jackson memorial service.
LA is Hell (Part I)
I hate that the majority of traffic lights in Los Angeles don’t have left hand turn arrows.
(The H1N1 of Words)
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again [because it’s like a god damned epidemic out there], but ONLY food can be described as “delicious.” Not your feelings, not a scene from a film and not that guy you want to bang.
(Neither is Lactose)
I hate that I’m not for everybody.
You're Right, Rob Thomas IS Magical
I hate when you ask someone what kind of music they’re into and they respond with, “I don’t care. Whatever is on the radio.” (These people mise well [mise well = hillbilly for ‘might as well’] be deaf.)
Thongs, Tighty-Whities, Feather Boas, Glitter,...
I hate that Gay Pride ParadeS (plural) have ruined this whole gay marriage thing for everyone.
It's A Shame Your Parents Lost A Bet
I hate when guys have girls names. Like… Jody. Or Stacy. Or Sandy.
Bunk
I hate it when people spell ‘Lopes’ without the Z.
Lisa 'Left Eye' Lopes Would Hate Your Face
I hate it when a white girl calls her boyfriend, ‘boo.’
Don't Call Me (I'll Call You)
I hate that I make plans [because then I just have to get out of them].
Cash4Gold MY ASS!
I hate that I didn’t get enough cash from recycling my old gold.